Actually, I was quite moved while reading this. Although it doesn't rhyme, it doesn't need to. The obvious pain and inner turmoil in it quite makes up for it. I liked the way the poem's emotion ebbed and flowed... Confused, to slightly angry, to a sense of hatred, yet a hint of love, and an overall saddness. The ending slightly contridicts the beginning, giving the reader a large sense of confusion from you, the writer. The tone changes, just like the human mind and heart. One minute, we're fine. Quickly, we turn to anger, without warning. Then we slowly turn to a feeling of confusion, lost in our own emotions, devoured by our thoughts...

Unfortunately, I have nothing to critique. Therefore, I shall add this as one of my first favorites. Thank you dearly for giving me something I can partially relate to to read. It was entirely enjoyed.

Thank you, your comment was entirely enjoyed as well! I kept it to questions the whole way through (till the last sentence) so as to emphasize on the confusion that I was feeling at the time.. I honestly was never planning to submit this to DevArt, but did because I wanted people who read it to feel like they understood how I felt. I'm glad that it made the point that I was going for!

--
"I don't ask for permission, I ask for forgiveness."
~A friend of mine

...Alex...*hugs*

--
The innocent shall live, the guilty will burn. PYRO FTW
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Cheap Commissions: [link]

Thank you, Yen. *hugs back* But I wrote this a long time ago... so dun think it's wut I'm going through right now... okies?

--
"I don't ask for permission, I ask for forgiveness."
~A friend of mine

ya but still.....

--
The innocent shall live, the guilty will burn. PYRO FTW
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Cheap Commissions: [link]